Four Things I’ve Learned as a Father

Daddy and Me
This is one my my favorite pictures of me with my oldest son.
It was taken at the beach in Destin, Florida in 2003.

My education as a father started on August 21, 2002, when my first son was born. I still remember how new and overwhelming everything was as my wife and I drove away from the hospital with a newborn in the backseat. I’ve learned a lot since then about myself, about life, about my family, and about God.

This Father’s Day, I sat down to list five things I’ve learned as a father

1. You have to step up because no one else will do it for you.

Stepping up means saying  “no” to things that could harm your kids. It also means saying “no” to some of the things you want to do for yourself so you can say “yes” to your kids. There are plenty of dads who have failed to step up, including my own, but I never wanted to be one of them.

I admire Joshua’s words in Joshua 24:15 when he said, “but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua stepped up and lead his family well. He had the courage and conviction to do what is right even if no one else followed.

2. Laughter and roughhousing are the best medicine.

Whether it’s a corny dad joke or a round of “manhandling” (that’s what we call it in our family), boy and girls need to lighten up and have some physical fun. Life can be tough sometimes. Kids need to learn to push through those tough times with a smile on their face.

In The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It, authors Anthony T. DeBenedet, MD and Lawrence J. Cohen explain the benefits of roughhousing. According to their study, kids who “horse-around” with their family are smarter, more emotionally intelligent, more lovable and likable, more ethical, more physically fit, and more joyful.

3. What you do is just as important as what you say.

County singer, Rodney Adkins, sings a song called about the importance of modeling good behavior for your kids. The song is called “Watching You.” The song describes the joys and challenges of raising a child who wants to be just like you.

It’s easy to tell your children how to behave, but it’s even more important to show them how to behave. The Apostle Paul challenged his spiritual “children” to follow his example in 1 Corinthians 11:1 when he said, “Be imitators of me, just as I am also of Christ.” He talked the talk and walked the walk.

4. My Heavenly Father is really patient with me

From time to time, my children do things that really test my patience. In my better moments, I remember that I’m also a child as well – a child of God. He has put up with a lifetime of crazy questions and selfish behavior from me, but He still loves me.

God is amazing because he proved his love for me before I could earn it or ask for it. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” I can love and care for my kids because God loves and care for me – I’m still working on the patience part.

Can you identify with some of the lessons I’ve learned as a father? Have you learned your own lessons as a father? Can you remember some of the lessons you were taught by your earthly father? If so, please leave them in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

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About jeremycouture

I am a husband, father, student, and pastor in Ashland, KY
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