David and Jonathan struck up a surprising friendship in 1 Samuel 18:1-5. Jonathan was the heir to the Israelite throne and David was his biggest rival, so it was amazing that the two got along so well. Jonathan publicized their support for one another by giving David his royal coat, armor, and weapons.
Their commitment was tested a few chapters later when king Saul publicized his own plan to kill David. (1 Samuel 20). The duo renewed their relationship with one another in a way that was shaped by God’s covenant relationship with his people. There are four covenant principles that are highlighted in their agreement and these principles helps us understand what it means to be a good friend in any era.
Helping out in tough times. Ancient near-eastern covenants were common among tribes and nations with an imbalance in power. That may seem oppressive by today’s standards, but it was much better than the alternative of total destruction. The stronger party offered certain benefits (like protection), and the weaker party offered their own benefits (like loyalty).
We have all been on both side of this equation in our interpersonal relationships. Sometimes we are the ones in need and sometimes we are the ones who are able to help. This dynamic is the lifeblood of most good friendships. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (NASB).
Staying true to one’s commitments. Jonathan and David made a number of serious pledges to one another in 1 Samuel 20:12-17. In essence, they promised to protect one another and their respective families as long as they lived. Few friendships are this formal, but every one that I know of will grow stronger if it’s kept up over time. a truth punctuated by Proverbs 18:24.
Persevering under pressure. The crown prince came under intense pressure to betray David. Saul insulted Jonathan, commanded him to betray his friend, and then tried to kill him (his own son!). Years later when David was king, he rejected the idea of “doing away with” with his rival’s family by taking care of Mephibosheth, Saul’s grandson. Once again, the book of Proverbs puts this principle in action: “Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend.” (27:10a).
Trusting in God’s faithfulness. David and Jonathan appealed to God’s faithfulness multiples times throughout this encounter (v. 8, 12, 16, 23, 42). This helps us to see that faith in God is the best foundation for a friendship. The parable of the three-fold chord in Ecclesiastics 4:9-12 is a tactile illustration of this forth principle.
David was a good king because He was loyal to God’s covenant relationship with Israel. He was a good friend because He patterned his relationship with Jonathan after His relationship with God. You and I become good friends to those we care about if we take this covenant principle to heart.
Photo by SteveBuissinne from Freerange Stock
